Fake It Till You Make It

They say "Fake It Till You Make It" right? Now, I wonder am I the only one who thinks that saying is the most shallow egotistical crazy nonsense EVER?! I mean who really wants to FAKE it? Who really wants to be "that" person who lives a lie every day, puts on a facade that life is just grand, when truth is, you know just as well as I do that we are human and we have days that just outright SUCK!
I say, Feel it till you Real It... Feel your emotions, make them real, wear them like the badass that you are. Rock your inner Warrior and SHOW UP! Life isn't always pretty, its messy and wild and sometimes its beautiful and peaceful but we have to be able to flow with it. I would challenge you to be REAL today and be WHO you are, DO what you have to DO and remember: "Beauty begins the moment you decide to just...Be Yourself!"

More than a Pacifier

So, I have been able to nurse my son for the last 10 months and plan to continue, however there are times when I need encouragement. If your a nursing mom or have nursed, you know what I am talking about... The 1 or 2 hour breaks our breast get in between feedings that seem to go by quicker than any other hour of the day. The late night wake up calls from a crying baby and if your anything like me, that comes every hour... 2 if I'm lucky. Then there is always the extra cushion in our cups from those fancy little protective nursing pads, I guess a little extra padding never hurt anyone. All the things we endure just to nourish our children from our own body right? But what I failed to mention is the number of beautiful things about it. The deep stares I get back at me, his little fingers wrapping around mine, that closeness and cuddles for that time, the deep unexplainable connection I get to make with my son as we look into each others eyes. This is the encouragement I need sometimes when the times get tough and we all know that times get tough! Haven't you, at one time or another wanted to just say "no more" or "that's is these girls are mine!" "I can't take this anymore." I know I have and especially lately, it feels as though I have been feeding ALL the time, sometimes only a few minutes in between feedings and I know he's just doing it for the pure comfort of it. There are countless nights of  little to no sleep and every hour wake up call to nurse, soothe and comfort him to fall back asleep. I thought to myself "he's not even eating!" It's in these moments of weakness quitting seems so easy, giving up on my real desire to continue. I had to dig deep and really ask myself, am "I ready to give in just because I am exhausted not to mention he now has TEETH?! The answer is no! The cries for comfort, the need for security, fulfillment, care and attention coming from my infant son are what I GET to give to him as a mom. I am his whole world. Yes, I feel like a human pacifier, a walking teething toy but the truth is I am so much more than a pacifier, a tool to soothe him momentarily, I am his everything! Don't we all love to be wanted, to be needed? I love having the quality time to connect, tune out the noise and absorb these little moments of a little human life wanting and needing me.  

Sure there are times that my days are crazy filled with temper tantrums, spilled milk, mom, mom, mom and a tornado of toys that make me want to make a dash for the closest closet door to lock myself in and capture even just one moment of silence, but the truth is that it won't be too much longer from now that I will have a lot of silence in this nest and I will only have the memories of these days filled with noise to reflect on.

So find ways to renew your strength when you need it, find that little bit of encouragement to get you through because, you CAN do this. You are promoting comfort and confidence that you are there when that precious little needs you and until the time comes to part nursing ways, remember you are a warrior that has endured and survived nursing

Neat facts according to babysteals.com

Homemaking the highest wage of love

In the wee hours of the night, the sounds of rustling around and little slow whines soon to develop into a full infant cry, wakes me up. Each new day is mostly like the last, filled with toddler wake up calls, making lunches, cups of coffee, house chores, changing diapers, running errands, answering to my 3 year old "mom... mom... mom" requests, snacks, nursing my infant son on demand, more house chores, doing most things with 1 available hand while holding baby, planning and cooking dinner, dishes, sharing stories, hugs, kisses and bed time routines. Once the day is done and the kids are asleep, silence fills the air and it's all too easy to continue on the path of production of getting done "all that I can, while I can." I take very little time, if any time to sit, lay, rest or relax the ever-running mind of mine. Yet, on the occasion that I do, I find myself sitting up in bed in the dark, as my husband sleeps, my eyes wander to my sons crib and I watch him as he sleeps. I wonder what he dreams about, what his little mind must be thinking. I replay the day and all the silly faces he made, all the smiles he made, his sweet little sounds and smell the scent of spit ups on my shirt. It's as if I yearn to wake him up to see his smile and smell his sweet breath... But why, why when he's sleeping so sound and at 1:00 in the morning when I should be getting some sleep of my own? I guess you could call it my moments of gratitude. It's in these moments that I can hear my own self think, I can spill out what I'm most grateful for each day in my life. It all sounds so cliche and yet it's not done often enough as we get so caught up in that hustle and bustle of everyday life, days past much like the last. So, I take these moments to appreciate life's biggest blessings and the day to day life I get to live out as a wife and mother. I smile as I change my sons diaper in the middle of the night, as he stretches his little body out never even opening his eyes, I kiss his little lips as he snuggles up in my arms and falls back into a deep sleep, I kiss his chubby cheeks as he sleeps and whisper "I love you." 

Yes, everyday I eat standing up with a baby in my arms on most days, I run up the stairs down the stairs back up and go round and round between the three of my littles... But because of them I laugh, I learn, I grow, I smile, I feel the love of my kids and give the love of a mother that is a privilege not all women get. Sure I've given up many things to be a stay at home mom, but that little compares to what I have gained from being a stay at home mom. I am thankful for each day I am given to be their mommy and to see their smiles, hear their laughter, triumph over trials and fears and smell their not good and not so good smells :)  The oh so tough job of being a homemaker is by far the most rewarding career of my life. It has given me many things, among them, growth, reward, obstacles, challenges, values, time and the highest wage of love. It's the little moments that count the most and it's the moments that we take the time to appreciate and express our gratitude for what we do have and get to do in this life. It is all a blessing, no matter how big or small you think.  I challenge everyone to take a few minutes each day to think about what life blessings you have and be sincerely grateful for them, not thinking about what's on your calendar for tomorrow or worry about anything, just live in the moment and be happy for what is. 

Marriage values to last a lifetime

1. Love is blind

 1Corinthians 13:4-8 says it best: "Love is patent and kind; it does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful' it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believe all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 

Being in love doesn't come with age or any prerequisite experience necessary. Being in love comes from your heart, a deep significant place in your soul that radiates from within outward. A feeling strong enough to withstand the toughest storms, loving the imperfect person perfectly for whom they are and are not. Love does not require materials of this world, good looks nor perfection, it requires nothing. Loving my husband is something that God and my soul chose for me, it's a feeling so deep and pure that I would not compromise this space in my heart solely for him for anything or anyone. It's something worth fighting for, if I had to, because it's one of a kind. We can love many people, but each one we love uniquely.  

2. Respect is everything

There were many years that we painfully struggled through our relationship and marriage. Now, looking back, our missing key ingredient was respect. We had to become open to learning each others limits and boundaries. The process for us to get to this point was not easy nor pain free, however we both agree it was absolutely necessary in order for us to grow into the unconditional level of respect we now have for each other. This doesn't mean that we always agree, nor that we always stay within the bounds, because we are imperfect. What it does mean is that we understand that there is always a respect I hold high for my husband, as a man, as a leader and as a father, that no matter what, I can reach deep within myself, and choose to come from a place of understanding him, having compassion for him and respecting him. Respect each others space and listen by being 100% present and engaged. 

3. Intimacy is always open for improvement

Intimacy is always open for improvement and should remain that way. (that is my opinion) You cannot forgo excitement and adventure in this time, it will only bring about ordinary routine & lack of communication. Its critical that we communicate our not only all our needs, especially the intimate ones and desires to each other and also be willing to be open to listening. It is no surprise that we are not born telepathic mind readers, so therefore what we withhold from our spouses can not be fulfilled.  

4. Trust is gained and can be regained

In my relationship, we have had a great deal of broken trust that had been created between the two of us. Infidelity, invasion of sacred vows and conscious and unconscious emotions and stories that we keep buried. It took us years to even learn where to begin to rebuild, but the one thing we both we clear on was that we both wanted it more than anything or anyone in the world. I think the biggest thing is that the focus was not on "rebuilding trust" the focus was on building and learning the values of a relationship starting with the undeniable hope to make us succeed. I believe we all have a past, we're human, we all make mistakes, but neither of those define us, better yet they have guided us to the point we are now and with that, we get to choose where to go from here. Every second that comes upon us, is a gift, a moment to change your life.

5. Communication speaks volumes

Literally.... My husband is my safe place, my best friend whom I can tell anything to without judgement, my listening ear and the best advice giver. He's the first person I want to call or tell something to as soon as I know it or think it. Sometimes I catch myself texting him 30 minutes after he's left for the office, just to share a funny picture of our kids or something randomly funny that happened.  Communicating to each other isn't always effortless nor does it always go the way we may have it planned, yet its a major foundation in the relationship. We must let down our walls that block others out from the deepest parts of our hearts and soul and let them in. Sharing is the pathway to growth and opportunity. It opens a doorway to togetherness and opportunity for learning about each other, sometimes things that most don't know or will never know because that is a privilege of marriage.

6. Everything is already perfect 

We go through life thinking "everything has to be perfect" and we strive for perfection, however we forget that everything is already perfect. Going along I myself was forgetting that very valuable lesson, worried about things being perfect. My husband and I were in the car driving back from LA when in the middle of a deep conversation about how his day was, he said: "Because everything is perfect, just the way it is." The tears began to roll down my face behind my sunglasses, it struck a cord with me so much that I physically felt it in my heart as I realized how true it really is... Everything IS perfect.
Everything in this exact moment that we are in right now, as you read this, the weather as it is, the sound of your kids asking for another cup of apple juice, your cell phone ringing, alarm clock buzzing, dog barking, ticking of the clock or that relentless task you must complete each and everyday... It's all perfect. We may be striving for perfection in our lives but as we are on our journey, we must be mindful that everything is already perfect just the way it is. Perfectly aligned for our own destiny in which we don't know the outcome or what lies ahead, so how can we determine what is not perfect? The greatness we get to become, we get to see, be and do, is perfectly lined for us, god makes no mistakes about it. So remember that no matter how imperfectly messy things seem or feel to be, they are perfectly happening for a reason in our life.

7. You find out who your friends are

Your husband is and should always be your best friend!  How beautiful it is to have a home in the heart of a friend. A friend that you know like no one else knows and the other way around. A home that is so deeply rooted in unconditional love and commitment that nothing of this world could ever destroy it. I've had many friends in my life, some have come and gone and some have stayed, yet it is without doubt that my strongest most faithful friend is my husband. He is the one friend who always has time for a cup of coffee to talk, makes me laugh when I need it the most, wipes the tears from my face when I'm upset, listens to my joys, gripes, and hormonal rages and still loves me, shares secrets, dreams, and stories with, and together we raise our children with unified values. Though many of us have friends that share many of the same things, no one will ever compare to the friendship that you share with him. Stay committed to your friendship with him, think of your relationship as a friendship growing stronger each day, being there for each other, supporting each other and loving each other no matter what.

Clarity is Power... Are you living your dream?

Ever wonder "what is my calling" "what was is my purpose" "what am I supposed to be doing"? If your answer is yes, than your in good company along with so many others. 

You recall your childhood or adolescent years dreaming of what you were going to be when you grew up, or that dream life you would have? Like so many of us, these jobs, dreams and idealisms change when we become adults and life just happens before us. However, one thing that should never change, is your ability to dream, your heart to grow and live the life you have imagined and bigger! 

In a survey conducted by Salary.com of over 1.100 people, they were asked about their dream jobs, to find out if they were truly doing what they had always dreamed of. An astonishing 16% of those surveyed were living out those dreams! Additionally, 70% of those surveyed had also said their dream job had changed once they became an adult. Check out the full story and statistics here. 

Check out this article from Oprah about knowing your calling

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Oprah-on-Finding-Your-Calling-What-I-Know-For-Sure

The Payment of Motherhood

The Highest Payment of Motherhood

When I think of a love as pure as that our children, it brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. I am awestruck at a love as innocent, as pure and as deep as theirs. For most of us, we are compensated in our lives through a career, a place we go to grow, learn, apply our god given talents and climb up the endless world of opportunity in dollars...salaries, financial and personal reward, right? And, there are some of us who work for free, volunteer their time to contribute for the compensation of very little to for some, nothing in return. However; either way, it seems for most, we are on a journey of doing things in this world for some payback, and I don't mean that necessarily in money, some of us don't expect anything in return, yet there is still a return... its a self gratification of helping others and for some its a compensation of a salary for a job performance.  What makes this transition in us? Is it a natural thing that happens in each of us as we grow older, the need to survive kicks in, the desire to be successful, healthy and create abundance?

I think of all these things and wonder, when does this shift happen? Our young children know nothing of the "workforce" out in the world to earn a living. They learn that from us as their guiding leaders.  When they do things for us like make us a pretend cup of tea in their tiny little teacup, or draw us a masterpiece of art to display in the public eye, what do they expect in return... LOVE! They expect love, gratitude and praise! Just take in the pure and innocence in that. For me, when I look at my kids and either my husband or myself receives a gift,  their eyes glow with excitement, they are SO excited about giving, SO excited about how much I am going to LOVE the cup of tea, SO excited about getting a hug and praise for the GREAT job they did today! I see it, I recognize it, I know that for them, they are deeply satisfied with LOVE in return!

Truth is, most of us head of into the workforce to earn a living each and every day. For some we get the opportunity to stay with our children, or others children and that still is a full time 24/7 job.  Realize,  I do believe it is crucial to the development of children to be taught the significance of a dollar,  hard earned rewards and dedication of commitments. I am simply encouraging us as parents to take a step back and disconnect from the world and treasure our children's expectations of love, make notice that the payment of pure love and joy can truly be the greatest reward of our commitment and dedication to our family. What an honor to be a mother and a father to a child and an honor to fill our hearts with love!


I invite you to love greatly and deeply in everything that you do.

Multi-tasking Mom's

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

- Proverbs 22:6

Every night after dinner with my family, my husband and I carve out a few minutes to breath out and listen to each others day. Although we are BLESSED to work together in the same office / same line of work, we encounter different experiences each day and we don't always see each other.  It is nice to be able to empty out our minds and have someone to listen on the other end. I'll admit that it doesn't always go that way, there are plenty times where days get spilled over cooking dinner, table setting, kids talking and dogs barking... yet for the most part we plan for quiet times to have these talks. 

Just yesterday I had one of those rare moments where I just started to spill my day to my husband over the phone on my way to pick up my oldest from school. I went on to explain that it was a good day, all that I was able to accomplish and how our 2 year old, whom came along with was good while mommy did all her work. When I mentioned that she was "good," my husband replied "yeah?" as if there was a question, so without hesitation I went on to explain how she had sat for most of the day and watched Blue's Clue's, I took some time to sit with her and have lunch and talk to her and she played with her toys in our office right beside my desk and didn't even bother me..." I paused and he paused on the other end... Then I got this: "Isn't it funny how we judge our kids behavior based on if they bother us or not...?" "huh" got me there, yet I tried to back pedal, "Well what I meant was she just was so happy today no tantrums!" To comfort me he softly said "Yes, I know babe I'm just saying it's pretty funny that is how we base their good days and bad days!" You know what... he was SO RIGHT. I mean from time to time I think about this as I sulk in the motherly guilt moment yet to hear it was like a wake up call! I judged my TWO year old's day, by how she didn't bother me... what a selfish judgement I passed. In that moment in the midst of conversation with my husband about how our day was, I was experiencing an awaking moment of the value of time. I'm one lucky girl to have a husband that I get to have conversations like this and grow with! 

Is multi tasking effective for me? The answer is NO! I learned this from a very inspirational leader of a man, CEO and growth machine in business that multi-tasking is simply NOT effective. Whether it be watching your kids and doing paper work to having conversation while watching Property Brothers. People who "try" and multitask are often easier to distract because they have more trouble filtering out irrelevant informtion. In fact, when it comes to distractions, muti-taskers can be their own worst enemy spending an average of 3 minutes on any one task before moving on to another, while it takes 11 minutes to refocus. That also means that while your brain is starting the timer for the 11 minutes to get re-focsued at 3 minutes your distracted!!!  AHHH what a vicious cycle! So in a world of constant distractions,  phone calls, Facebook, emails, to do lists, changing Blue's Clue's videos and getting more apple juice, we are not focused on one thing at a  time... hardly ever! 

My daughter didn't feel that she had a bad day with mommy, she isn't even aware that I was basing her behavior status on how little she interrupted my tasks, no for her, she had a fun day at the office with mommy, got to watch Blue's Clue's, eat lunch with mommy, play with toys and color and I know this because that's what she told my husband she did!I love being a mom, everything that I get to be, do and experience as a mom... I LOVE! What a great awareness this has brought to my love for motherhood a realization to cherish each moment of time spent with our children is. Is it easier said then done, no, stop making excuses and become intentional about cherishing those moments! We are all trying to be the best mommy, wife and women we all know how to be, learning each day, my guess is that if we can be real enough, raw enough, open to change, and come from our hearts, our growth is limitless and everyone wins when we grow!  I get to choose to be aware of how I influence my daughters day, how I get to be a part of empowering her to grow and learn and simply be a 2 year old making memories. I'm not a perfect mom and were not a perfect family; however we are an imperfect family COMMITTED to improving!!