Giving our kids choice can be significantly empowering to the development of confidence, leadership, problem solving and self expression, to name a few. As adults every day when we wake up, we have a choice of how we want to live out our purpose, our mission that day. It may not always go as planned AND we still get the choice of how to move forward. That's what we do as human nature, we make choices, day in and day out. Kids do the same, the key is our role as a parent to coach them through their growth as responsible decision makers.
Ill share a story of my 2 year old, who is just beginning to learn the phrase "choice."
Now, she likes her sissy's IPod and every now and then, when she can get her hands on it, she goes for her little games and plays away. This evening while in a rush to walk in the door, give a quick kiss to my husband who was out the door, deciding on dinner and attempting to do a quick cleanup of the house, my toddler found her sisters Ipod and began to play quietly... Within a few minutes she decided to taunt her older sister, who was reading on the couch, with the iPod. Consequently, mommy came and took the IPod away, dropping to her level to explain. Immediately tears welled up in her eyes and she burst out in a loud cry, carrying on for what seemed like hours, was really about 10 minutes. I carried her over to the stairs, sat her down and amidst her crying explained that she could stay on the stairs and cry OR she could come help me make dinner and not cry. It took a few minutes before she made her way to the kitchen, standing by my side and in a whispery soft voice said "I don't want to cry more!"
VOILA!! It was like magic... I wanted to jump up and down because I was shocked at how quick that had propelled her to make a different choice!
I opened my arms and picked her up and hugged her tight as she wrapped her arms around me and wiped her tears on my shirt. I whispered in her ear "so what are you feeling right now?" As she lifted her head she whispered "happy"
Wah-Hoo!!!!!! I was so proud of her choice to move forward and feel happy vs. sad.
I could literally see the energy shift within her when I clearly laid out her choices and she got it!
Empowerment is received though many things, choice is just one of the many. Every child will experience it differently and grow differently. Giving choices can be a healthy confidence builder and while learning the concept of decision making. Your also engaging your child into solution instead of just telling them what the solution is, which as their parents we get to make the choice of the times at which this is needed.
There may be times when your child will resist and not want to choose. When this happens there is still a choice they have... YES, it would be "do you want to choose OR would you like me to choose for you? They key in this, stick with it and continue to follow through with your mission.
May you always be blessed and encouraged to choose to take a chance to the possibility of changing your life and thrive.
-D-
